Wednesday, August 30, 2006

SEX! Disneyland-style!

Disneyland was just plain sexy! call it what you will, but the park peddled lots and lots of sex. as unintentional as it may have been, 1950s and 60s Disneyland was a very sexual in its presentation.

wonderlands of corsets and bras, orally fixated whales...hell, even the early park layout had a womb-like nature to its triangular design.

certainly, figures such as the riding-crop weilding Disneyland Tour Hostesses fit into this naughty but nice concept.

perhaps no land best took advantage of this primal theme than Tomorrowland.

just gander at the gleaming, erect rocket as the main symbolic theme. whoa. down boy!

i mean, really...Walt wasn't kidding when he called these visual icons "weenies".

perhaps these two (L) are on their way to Stovall's, Space Age Lodge for a futuristic rendevous?

now check this fine representative of the future (R): accurately dressed for educational purposes only i gather!

all i know is, that's a future i want to live for!

the only thing sexy about the Tomorrowland of today is that it will hopefully be torn out and rented for more hot pin trading stations! YES!!!!! nothing drips sex more than a fully appointed lanyard, baby!

now, here's the ultimate in Tomorrowland electric dreams...The Sub Lagoon Mermaids!!!!! i don't know about you, but i could live with no attraction in the Tomorrowland Lagoon for my $56 if they at least returned the mermaids as temporary place holders.

in fact, Disneyland was so proud of the Sub Mermaids that they returned full time in the late 60's after their brief introduction in 1959. below is a rare news wire photo featuring two of the sexiest half human/half fish creatures i ever saw! not only did they feature real, naked flesh in the sunshine instead of flesh colored leotards, but they wore lacey bras instead of bulky seashells or swim tops! that my friends, was entertainment!!!

the park is so soul-less now, it's hard for me to go anymore. it seems all the fun, all the value and most certainly, all the sex has been completely drained from Walt's wonderland. it's been about four years since i've been there and i really don't miss it. it's probably why i've immersed myself so much in the park's past. all i know is, i ain't gwoin' back until i get some of the old fashioned sales techniques that made the park such a stimulating themed experience.

so, the next time you blow a wad on admission to the current Disneyland, make sure to bring your imagination. you're going to need it to find joy in those bronze colored-empty ride areas and flesh leotarded women.

and when you pass the empty sub lagoon that your admission paid for, be sure to wave towards the coral reef in the distance...the memory of those sexy mermaids is waving back at ya and saying, "wish we were here!"


Blogger Adam Hazlett said...

I have always heard about those mermaids but never got to see any...I must say, you've got the best pics I've ever seen of them!
THEY ARE wonder guys would jump in to see them. I think I might have too.

5:44 PM  
Blogger mistryl said...

hahahah! That's the greatest post I've seen in a long while. I completely agree that there is nothing sexy about modern Tomorrowland. I mean really, one mermaid is helping the other one unzip! Wow.

I don't go to Disneyland much anymore, but I did go around the time of the 50th, and it did clean up nicely. And the fireworks were lovely. But for the most part, no, I don't miss it either.

Great pictures, great post. Keep it up. :)

6:16 PM  
Blogger Major Pepperidge said...

Man oh man, I'm going to quit blogging TODAY! How can I compete with stuff like this? ;-)

Your blog gets a gold star, and according to my second grade teacher (Mrs. Thibideaux) there is no higher honor than that.

6:42 PM  
Blogger Chris Merritt said...

Hoooo boy. I think I need a cold shower! There is footage that exists of the pool tryouts for these sexy sirens - it's enough to send ya straight to the hospital!

10:56 PM  
Blogger Matterhorn1959 said...

I bet you would be one of the guys who would hear the siren call of these mermaids and attempt to swim across to them (one of the main reasons the mermaids were removed!) Also the shot of the moonliner is one of the best with the Tomorrowland couple strolling in front of the rocket.

Your blog is now one of the funniest I read every day, keep it up.

5:51 AM  
Blogger thepicklebarrel said...

thanks all. yeah, disneyland sure is a source of fun on many levels!

if anyone has some nice tour guide pics, go ahead and post 'em...dont be shy!

10:21 AM  

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